To be a woman

How does one become a woman in today's society? Especially when they weren't even taught how be one or shown how.

My youth was difficult. Constantly picked on in some way, father left when I was 5 and witnessed him abusing my sister and brother for years. My mother was always working to try to support us. So I never was shown what did it mean to be a woman. I never was taught how to act around guys, the proper way to act in relationships. Even hanging out at someone's house, I don't know the right way or what's considered to be the" normal" length of stay.

I always feel like I'm over doing it or acting the wrong way. Now, I'm 28 and I should know what it means to be a woman but I don't. I know they should be independent or at least to a degree, which I am not, and to have confidence and they should love themselves. Which I don't. I have no confidence and I don't love myself. Hard to love yourself when you were put down a lot and still are.

I don't know how to cook a lot of different type of meals. I know some but not a lot. It would help if I had the money to buy food besides quick lunches for work.

Hopefully someday soon I will know what it means to be a woman before it is too late.

Gym time

So, I've been going to the gym about every other day. Feeling pretty good, a little sore but that's to be expected. I now do 4 miles on the bike in about 17.40 mins every time and a mile on the treadmill when I'm done everything.

So proud of my self for keeping it up. Gotta look good for my man and for my wedding next year. I just need to eat a little better/ healthier and hopefully the pounds will come off, even though I'm already seeing some improvement already.