Okinawa

So, he's back at Okinawa and I feel more alone than ever. Waiting to see if I'm pregnant or not. Trying not to get ahead of myself and trick myself into thinking I am. Even though I've been having a chronic upset stomach since before he left.
Bought a pendulum and it said I was but they can be tricky. Took a test but it could be too early to tell. I'm not saying anything to my family till I know for sure and won't be telling my mother for a good while.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

So this morning at 730 am my fiancee left to go back up to his parents. :( He will be going back to Japan on the 27th. Cried all morning and most of last night. Feel like my heart and soul is breaking. I know I will see him again but it doesn't help. Gonna drink tonight.