My life as a navy girlfriend

So, I've been dating my sailor, fox, for over two years now. We met online when I was 12 in a chatroom on mtv.com. We met in person in 2003. Best and worse night of my life.

Right now, he's stationed in Japan for at least 2 years. This summer we are going to get married, if they approve his leave. He's been away for a year and a half. We talk on Facebook and on Voxer but its not the same. The navy knows his situation, not being able to take leave before going there, but they keep dicking him around.

I'm still indecisive about either having a courthouse wedding or maybe have it at my sisters house. Still waiting for his input. Though I kind of leaning towards my sisters house though. Just hope we get the approval soon.

Being a military gf/fiancé/wife is tough. You're majority on your own, more so if you don't live together. If you're married, you can usually follow him. However, there are some restrictions if he gets stationed overseas. Like, he will have to pay out of pocket for you to fly over and things like that. Though when he comes home it is the BEST feeling in the world. There are facebook groups that can help and are understanding, which has helped me.

The distance is one of the worse, cause of time zones and that they won't be here for holidays or birthdays a lot, and if you have kids be prepared to be both roles and basically be a single parent sometimes.

Home life, the later years

So after I graduated high school, I took a year off from school so I could relax. Which wasn't a great idea once I started college. My home life was still about the same, only my sister didn't live there anymore. My brother would still hit me and everything but he also started stealing money from me. I would try everything I could think of to hide my money but he would still find it. I believe he stole about a grand or so but since I have no proof besides money missing I couldn't do anything about.

When I moved out in 2007 to be with my then boyfriend, I realized that I need to do more house cleaning than just the basics amping other things. We fought almost daily about it and then one day when he picked me up from work he dropped a bomb on me. He told me he a bought a plane ticket and was sending me home the next day. No warning, no discussions, I was being sent home. I was devastated. Worse mistake in my life moving in with him and I regret every minute of it.

Anyway, college was difficult for me simply because I wasn't the best student and I'm horrible at taking tests. I've made some friends while going there but a few stabbed me in my back. I finally graduated college with a general studies degree with a concentration of business. I want to go back to school but not sure what I want to study. I have so many interests that its been hard for me to pick. Though I have strong roots in music, I can read most sheet music except for percussion. So, I've been thinking about going for music teaching but need more information first.

Home life the early years/high school years

So I have already talked about how I live at my mom's house. Here's is how it was like growing up for me.

I have lived in this house practically since I was born. My parents has this house built after I was born, 28 years ago. My sister is about 3 years older than me and my brother is about 18 months younger.

When I was about 5 years old, my father left my mother for his secretary who ended being a nutcase. Their divorce took years to go through. So it was just me, my mom , my sister and my brother living in a 3 bedroom single family home. It was in a nice nieghborhood with kids around the same age as us.

Growing up in the 90's was so different than it is now. We didn't have all these electronics to play with, if we were bored we would go outside and play. We would make up games, make whistles out of acorns, or if we didn't want to go outside we would read a book or watch whatever we could find on the tv. It was kind of like a simpler life compared to now. I hope to teach my kids how to live that way.

However, growing up was difficult for me. I was constantly picked on by my siblings and kids in my nieghborhood. Simply cause I was either too soft and emotional or there was nothing else to do. Usually it was just simple name calling, cry baby and things like that. However, my brother was my abuser for most of my life. He would hit, punched, spit, throw things at me. He has left bruises before but no one stopped him. Mainly cause no one could. I think a lot of it was pent up anger from dad leaving and physically abusing him, and for what ever reason I was his punching dummy for lack of a better word.

Other than that I have struggled with a body image since at least 4th or 5th grade when I started developing crushes on boys. I have always thought certain boys were cute but no real crushes. It first started when I really liked this one boy but when he saw my sister and ended up thinking she was hot, I originally laughed it off but it crushed me. Guess you could say I never got over it. My sister always had this long beautiful red hair that guys loved and I have always wished I had and later in life, she had bigger boobs than me lol. Sad but true that I was jealous. I wished I had guys looked at me the way they looked at her. Cause most guys just looked at me as "one of the guys."

News flash to guys, most girls don't like to be that, I mean yeah sure its nice to not being think of this little delicate thing that would break if she would climb a tree but we would like to be thought of as a girl too.

Anyway, when I entered high school my insecurities got worse. Every guy friend I had/liked got to see my sister and fell for the red hair and boobs. My sister hated it, I hated that I felt invisible and that no one thought I was beautiful or pretty or would give me the time of day. Most of the guys that I did date in high school were jerks and tried to use me. It was like well if I can't be with your sister than I guess I'll be with you. I have been lied to and cheated on. My sister and I were in school together for one year but all through out my high school years it was majority of what I hear. How pretty my sister is or how much they would like to date her. Every time I heard that I sunk deeper and deeper into depression and started an eating disorder, which I can say I overcame but ended up cutting instead. So obviously my high school years weren't that great and I still have issues to this day because of it.

Introduction

Let me start by introducing myself, I'm 28 and I still live at home. I work at home depot but trying to find a new job or a second job, and I knit. I have an older sister (30) and a younger brother (26). I'm dating a wonderful guy named Fox, yes that is his real name ( actually its Littlefox but goes by Fox). He's native american from the seminole tribe. (So please if you read this don't make fun of his name, cause it is disrespectful and rude and highly childish.) I have graduated college with a general studies degree and have been thinking about going back but not sure what to study.

So, I live at home at my moms (parents divorced when I was younger), my mom lives here part time (she spends most nights at her boyfriend's house), my brother also lives here and his girlfriend does majority of the time. My sister has 3 kids and now a single mom trying to take care of them and her 9 dogs (she's a dog breeder). Im dating a wonderful man, who is currently in the U.S. Navy. We have been together for over 2 years now and I have known him since I was 12.

This blog will be to express my frustrations out and my view point of what ever is going on in my life. Hope you enjoy it and please no rude comments.